that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
