considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
My cat gives me a boner
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
pop tarts are not kleenex
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
