After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
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