The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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