I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Randomize
