Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
