your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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