I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
