when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
