ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize