I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
