you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
