your room smells of hookers.
And success
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just invented taco cereal.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
