I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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