It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
