stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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