Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
