Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
We're too hungover to prance.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
