If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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