Is it because I queefed?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
