I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I wish my penis had an off switch
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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