hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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