Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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