If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
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