he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
