I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Randomize
