he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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