They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize