I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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