Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
