If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
