Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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