He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
