Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
