I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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