I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
