had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
