One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
