Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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