I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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