a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
