your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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