He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize