WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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