I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
