STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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