P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
smell my finger.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
