I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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