I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
