i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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