I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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