The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
