Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
