I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
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