I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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