when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
