Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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