so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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